well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
So much rum. So many feels.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
