Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You've changed since you got that strap on
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
