I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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