i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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