Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
