i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
