turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
