The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
