Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize