listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Randomize
