You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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