I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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