That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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