Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
