So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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