Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
4 words: hood of his car
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
