I molested 6 butterflies tonight
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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