"it" just moved
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You can't just leave with hair like that
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
