yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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