I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
