do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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