i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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