At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
