i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
