btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
