his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
How does it feel to date your dad?
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