I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
