:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
