shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
