walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I need water and some morals
Randomize
