Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
This gyro tastes like lonliness
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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