am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize