is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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