why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
