am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I woke up under a house in Key West
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
