she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
