girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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