I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
