In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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