For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
