Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
