oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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