it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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