People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
