a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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