im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So here I am, sexting at work.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
