We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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