Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
