She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
