I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Are these your boobs on my camera?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
