I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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