Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
