I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize