i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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