Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
