just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
