I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
