We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
