Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
