Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Randomize
