Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
