She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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