please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
